My Big News

Let's see. About a week and a half ago Bud left his cell phone in his pocket and I washed (and dried!) it. I guess blame is about 50/50 there but, we like to assign guilt in this household, so I'm saying he's old enough to empty his pockets before dropping clothes in the magic bucket that cleans and folds them. After much cursing around the house, he ordered a new phone on Ebay and a few days later it showed up. It was a very nice phone and we hated to hurt its feelings but no matter how many times it got banged onto the couch or shaken in a fist, it would not quit humming in the background of all phone calls. I think it was just trying to get attention but Bud wasn't having it. He got BACK online and filled out a return form, stuck the phone in a package and sent it back. Because I tend to take on the optimistic role in our relationship I told him I was sure it would show up within a few days. He countered that no, it would not, it had to carry its happy ass back to California, be processed and then a new one sent back. Total of AT LEAST 12 days! (Remember California, that is important). We bet on it. I said it wouldn't take 12 days, he said it would, winner would be taken to Moe's for lunch of dinner. (Remember food, that is important. Never make a bet with me that involves food.) Friday I heard a loud knock on our door and, after wading past the barking! dogs! who! never! stop! barking! I signed for a package from, YES! California. That was it, I didn't even think...not at all, if you can believe that about me. I was so convinced about being right and if there is something this household likes even more than assigning blame, it is being right. I ripped and tore through 3 packages until, yes, a certificate fell out and I saw a small velvet box. You may try, but you cannot imagine the excitement that was this apartment that day. I held my stomach, my head, my heart and then, grabbed the phone and started dialing. Sisters. Because that's what we do. In her all-too-calm voice Georgia told me to hang up the phone, speed over to UPS and have that ring repackaged pronto. As if possessed I did exactly that, just keeping her calm, sure voice in my head. The two teenage boys behind the counter were impossibly cute about the whole thing and even took the package outside (after properly recreated) and "roughed it up" a little. They threw some dirt on it too, for good measure. Bud waited TWO SWEATY DAYS LATER to ask me. And then, in a tumble, because I have never been a big secret keeper, I told him the entire plot. He didn't have much of a reaction except to say, "I'm just a little nervous at how well you hid everything." Ah yes, don't ever get too comfortable. And the cell phone? Looks like I will be buying Moe's.