I will not be defeated (mom don't read this)

Ok maybe a little bit. I'm sprucing up my resume (in between poking my index finger into each eye, repeatedly) in order to find a part-time job. I don't really want to but I also like to be able to pay bills on time and other silly things like that. So. Here I am. Georgia, queen of all things HR, is helping me, but before we got started, I had to make clear my feelings on resumes:

me: I absolutely abhor resumes. Not really writing them..not that I like writing them..but they are the antithesis of anything I respect. SO DUMB.

Georgia: ha

me: "Coordinated the licking of all my bosses asses"

Response: "Oooh good, she already knows!"