On being a total idiot sometimes, no wait, a lot of the time

Last night I went out with some girlfriends and had way too much to drink. I know, big surprise. But this was one of those nights where a few beers would've been fun, a few double toddies and a shot was not fun. The best thing about drinking too much is how crappy you tend to treat those around you. Generally the people who love you most and so of course, that makes total sense. I could feel the urge to throw up on the way into the apartment last night, Bud trailing behind me, having just come pick me up. When I feel like I'm about to vomit I usually take some of my clothes off because all of a sudden, whoa it's warm in here. According to Bud I threw my jacket into a bush and then ran inside and locked myself in the bathroom. When he tried to get in to hand me a glass of water, I yelled out at him, "WE DON'T NEED ANY!" We? Oh, that's right, the little elves on the toilet rim, dancing and chanting, "we don't need no stinkin water!" That's who. This morning I have a terrible case of drinkers remorse and wonder if I'm actually going to post this entry. Oddly enough, I was bombarded with messages when I finally dragged myself out of bed this morning. Not "hi please come find my missing dog" messages but what, to me, seemed like significant MESSAGES. Dooce (I act like I know her and like that's her real name) has a great post about Britney Spears (no really, it is) and a link to a Craig Ferguson monologue (I know I need to quit ripping her off, but if you have the time I would totally suggest watching this). It was like God picked up the phone this morning and dialed my number direct which is a totally ludicrously selfish thing to say but it sort of feels like it. It was an excessive night and although I generally recoil from the world "moderation" as if I'm being burned by a motorcycle muffler, it would have made a good poster for "this is why you don't want to overdrink, just look at this sloppy mess throwing her jacket into a bush even!" Even my sweet baby dogs are looking at me judgementally today and well they should, their breakfast and peanut butter were late this morning. I think, in the spirit of honesty and "we are the world" and some modern notion of sharing your faults with everyone, I will post this. But read fast, it might come down.