The Law School of King's Dominion

This weekend we went to King’s Dominion. Georgia and Peter and Bud and I all met up at a campsite and then headed over to the park. I don’t know why this is the case, but it has always held true as far as I can tell: theme parks attract total weirdoes. And the outfits, God help us the outfits. Where does a large person get the notion that ultra tight cut-offs and a cropped T-shirt is attractive? Far be it for me to criticize weight, I was just aghast at the presentation of belly fat. Hide it like the rest of us for the love of God and everything appetizing.

And that’s not all; the tattoos, the graffiti on the wooden railings leading up to the rides. The untrimmed body hair alone was enough to make you lose your lunch. Here are a few of my selected favorites:

- On a railing leading up to the rafting ride, “i am a lizard oink oink”. No comment necessary on that one. I left in original punctuation.

- A woman walking by me putting everything but her nipples on display. That’s not all. She had hair between her breasts. And I don’t mean peach fuzz.

- I saw a bunch of these: severely unattractive men with T-shirts that read, “I (heart) BJ’s”. And with a shirt like that, I’m sure you get them all the time.

- Several women with longer under-arm hair than I have on my head.

- And the winner is: a woman whose upper arm was the canvas for the names of the Supreme Court Justices. In a very tasteful cursive tattoo. I’m all for bucking stereotypes but it just didn’t look like her inspiration came from Sandra Day O’Connor.