Cause I'm here, and I'm real

That's a quote from an Ani DiFranco song and I don't write that because I believe I am the only original person who has ever listened to her music, but because I am deathly afraid of anything resembling plagiarism because I am deathly afraid of anything resembling jail. Have you heard what is considered preferential treatment in jail? It's like getting a toilet seat on your toilet. Paris may have received it, who knows, but I can't say I begrudge it of her. I'm pretty sure she still didn't enjoy her stay. Whenever I'm at a loss for something to write, that song lyric buzzes through my head, taunting me. As if to say - yeah, you exist, I'm sure SO many people want to read about THAT. I'm not really sure why I post to this blog so much. Yes, of course there is a small part of me that just barely a little bit dares to hope I will be a real writer someday. But come on, even with the naive personality it takes to hope such a hope, I don't expect it. I do know though that I am happiest in front of my laptop, writing something. I know, just like so many songs are my "favorites", I am happiest doing a lot of things. Eating is another one of them. Being with Bud trumps them all and driving with the radio blaring is probably a close second. But writing some kind of story, vignette or thought gives me a runner's high. And there's this other quote I think about a lot - it comes from the movie Hope Floats and, to paraphrase, says something like, "we all try to find that one thing we love to do and then cram it into a box in order to make money from it, whereby the pleasure disappears." Which sucks. Maybe I like writing because I don't make money from it. Because it is a total choice still. I do not, however, get a runner's high from waiting tables.